Intimacy in a relationship - My take

DATING DILEMMAS

Intimacy in a relationship

PHYSICAL INTIMACY V/S EMOTIONAL INTIMACY

The vessel of physical intimacy does not need to contain the honey of emotions in it. Emotional intimacy does not need to be dependent upon the vessel to be poured into, it might exist independently. Intimacy, in most basic terminology does not deal with mere sweet nothings. It is not about forcing our partner to like us by walking around wrapped up in the cloth of our best qualities, but is about making the other person admire us and respect us for who we are, as we reveal our withered broken down walls to them, so as to fix them up together, building a strong relationship eventually. It is about fixing us. Intimacy is not about our wisdom or rules. It is about confronting our fear of revealing our traumas, insecurities and feelings without a care in the world.

WALLS TO BE BROKEN

 Avoid defining the relationships

• Ø  We sit, biting our nails, assessing and evaluating the people in our life. Anxious about the plank on which the relationship with our partner stands, on the ladder of hierarchy.

The tendency to define the relationships often gets in the way of intimacy. We possess the need to categorize our relationships on the basis of those with which we are more familiar with. Instead of worrying about where which relationship stands, we must go with the flow , trusting with time and letting intimacy take over as an anchor to the relation‘ship’

Fight the fear of being Intimate

Ø  We meet up, we interact, even claim to be in love. But, the big question is whether we sincerely take out time for each other to share our feelings, opinions and fears, the thoughts that we are afraid to vent out in front of the judgemental world?

You might not realize, but the fear of intimacy in results in loneliness - both for you and for your partner. As anyone who has experienced loneliness will tell you, being alone in a relationship is much more painful than being alone as a single person or a widower.

Taking for granted is a complete no-no

• Ø  We wake up in the morning and rush to our respected offices, slog the entire day as we run behind money and comforts that life has to offer, come back home, tired to death and forget that the relationships, of all the things must not be taken for granted.  

Once we are assured about being accepted for who we are, we begin to develop intimate relationships. At all ages and seasons of life we intend to seek protection from hardships and thereby pursue education for wisdom, a stable career for financial security and relationships as a morale booster. But in the long run, as we are bent upon achieving our goals, we tend to forget the warmth that the blanket of intimacy offers.