Intimacy in a relationship - My take


DATING DILEMMAS
Intimacy in a relationship


PHYSICAL INTIMACY V/S EMOTIONAL INTIMACY



The vessel of physical intimacy does not need to contain the honey of emotions in it. Emotional intimacy does not need to be dependent upon the vessel to be poured into, it might exist independently. Intimacy, in most basic terminology does not deal with mere sweet nothings. It is not about forcing our partner to like us by walking around wrapped up in the cloth of our best qualities, but is about making the other person admire us and respect us for who we are, as we reveal our withered broken down walls to them, so as to fix them up together, building a strong relationship eventually. It is about fixing us. Intimacy is not about our wisdom or rules. It is about confronting our fear of revealing our traumas, insecurities and feelings without a care in the world.

WALLS TO BE BROKEN

 Avoid defining the relationships


  • Ø  We sit, biting our nails, assessing and evaluating the people in our life. Anxious about the plank on which the relationship with our partner stands, on the ladder of hierarchy.


The tendency to define the relationships often gets in the way of intimacy. We possess the need to categorize our relationships on the basis of those with which we are more familiar with. Instead of worrying about where which relationship stands, we must go with the flow , trusting with time and letting intimacy take over as an anchor to the relation‘ship’

Fight the fear of being Intimate


Ø  We meet up, we interact, even claim to be in love. But, the big question is whether we sincerely take out time for each other to share our feelings, opinions and fears, the thoughts that we are afraid to vent out in front of the judgemental world?

You might not realize, but the fear of intimacy in results in loneliness - both for you and for your partner. As anyone who has experienced loneliness will tell you, being alone in a relationship is much more painful than being alone as a single person or a widower.


Taking for granted is a complete no-no



  • Ø  We wake up in the morning and rush to our respected offices, slog the entire day as we run behind money and comforts that life has to offer, come back home, tired to death and forget that the relationships, of all the things must not be taken for granted.  

Once we are assured about being accepted for who we are, we begin to develop intimate relationships. At all ages and seasons of life we intend to seek protection from hardships and thereby pursue education for wisdom, a stable career for financial security and relationships as a morale booster. But in the long run, as we are bent upon achieving our goals, we tend to forget the warmth that the blanket of intimacy offers.






Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Spin It

Image
                                                                     Spin spin spin I spin my web.. Snip snip snip I snip every old thread.. You spin I spin that is all we do. I am hanging where you once hung, This patch is mine now, now I sew. You snipped my mesh one day and craft your own wall. I am a spinner and you are one No sins, we merely cushion our fall. Why shall I remain trapped in my world and you in yours. Let us spin a web together  and trap everyone in ours. Why not bring all under one roof neither yours, nor mine, ally. Under one sky, as the earth continues to spin Let us spin for everyone, a whole new sky.
Read more

Mother-child relationship does go a longer way than thought of

Image
The umbilical cord supplies the foetus with oxygenated, nutrient-rich blood. Once it is cut off, the infant still remains attached to the mother. All thanks to oxytocins — the mammalian hormone often called the love hormone. There is something about science that makes it often talked about. Emotions do not arise from the heart as we all are told at an early age; they are developed in the brain and through its patterns. It is not news that the parent-child relationship affects the other associations that the child is likely to form at later stages of his or her life. But a new study by psychologist Jeffry A. Simpson, the author, with University of Minnesota colleagues W. Andrew Collins and Jessica E. Salvatore shows that your interpersonal experiences with your mother in particular during the first 12 to 18 months of your life as an infant predicts your behaviour in romantic alliances 20 years later. Before one is aware of the thought process and the language to describe
Read more

Abandoned: End of a beginning?

Image
Innumerable questions pound the walls of our mind. Words in our poem no longer rhyme. Why no one wants to take us home or considers us as their own? Why no one lends a loving hand and lets us suffer on the barren land? We seek neither a roof, nor a stack of grain  Merely the sunshine of care in the season of rain. As a desperate knock interrupts my thoughts, I roll down the glass to be greeted by imploring eyes of a poor child. My heart goes out to her but I cannot help wondering if she has chosen this path out of need or has been forced to do so. I hand her a penny and drive away as the signal turns green. We can reflect upon the condition of the underprivileged children clad in rags or pass our judgement about the misfortune but is that what we call a solution? Gaiety of the childhood has wandered off as the bereaved are left behind to search for remnants on the crowded streets. I had once come across a poor child who was hurrying off from one vehicle to t
Read more